A Hard Lesson

As part of my training, I have to learn to care for moms and dads who are going through the process of losing their baby, sometimes even halfway through their pregnancy. Being still so new to this job, I am trying to absorb what words to say to the families and how to care for them. In my first experience, I listened to their questions, and had I no idea what to say. I listened to their doctor talk about the real facts and sequence of events, and I had no idea what to feel. I listened to my preceptor talk about what was happening and what the next step was, and I had no idea how this family could erase those images and plans they created when they were counting on this little baby being part of their future.

I learned that I had to bite my tounge to not say "have a great night," and I had to learn to be calm and empathetic. I had to be present for them.

I also had to take a break and go to the locker room... and I had to cry.

This is a hard lesson. I have so much to learn, but this is one lesson that weighs heavy on my heart and brings tears to my eyes. I can only hope to comfort the hearts and support the tears of families experiencing this pain. I know it will make me a stronger nurse in the bad times and the good. I love my job in the shadows and the sunshine.