Happy 2nd Birthday Billy!

My two year old son Billy! I can't believe that time has flown and you are now two! However, I feel like our time is so full and fun, and I am so lucky that I get to spend my days with you! I wouldn't want to miss a moment of your life, and I am so glad that we get to spend our days together. 

Today we got to celebrate you with your family, and it was so very clear that everyone loves you so much! Your joy is infections, your "Happy" face smile is the most Picture Perfect, and you made everyone laugh and cheer when you requested the "Go Ducks Song Please Mom" and we all sang and you clapped and finished with a jump and a "Yay, Go Ducks!" Today was so very fun. 

I love the way you say "I love you Mommy" out of the blue, and I wonder sometimes when that will no longer make me want to burst into tears it is so sweet. I also love how you say "Thanks for working hard Dad, painting the road". :) We can't believe how much you are talking and understanding, and it's just the sweetest to hear your cute voice. 

Your favorite foods are "Ogurt Raisins" and "Olibs" and "Cheese and crackers" and if only you would branch out! We celebrated just because you ate chicken the other day! Small victories for sure :)

It's few and far between but I love rocking you to sleep. It is such a sweet time and I love being able to hold you as my Baby Billy, and see your sweet face drift off to sleep. I love being your best friend and keeping you safe. More than anything I hope you feel loved, as I know that your Dad and I have more love for you than we ever thought possible.

"I'm 2!"

Happy Birthday sweet Billy!

The last drops

I knew that I would love being a mom, but I didn't know what that love would feel like.

I knew how important breastfeeding is for helping babies get off to a great start, but I didn't know what those sweet moments would feel like.

I knew that every milestone is a moment to be written down and cherished, but I didn't know what watching my son grow before my eyes would feel like.

I knew how to change diapers, swaddle, properly install a car seat, you name it, but I didn't know what being a mom would feel like.

For 16 and a half months my body has been able to feed Billy breastmilk specifically made for him, a biological tie between the two of us that no one else could provide.  I am so proud of that accomplishment, but more than that,  I have loved the sweet cuddles, rocking, singing, intimate time of just my son and I.

Looking forward and as a planner with no intention of breastfeeding for multiple years, I knew that I would need a timeline to allow myself to accept this next phase of our life without breastfeeding. It has been months of weaning down the feedings one by one, and Billy has been a champion moving forward. Sometimes he will sign for milk when he sees me walk into his room after his nap, or here and there throughout some days, but he has gone with the transitions without ever shedding a tear. But all of a sudden it seems like I blinked and it became July 1st and it was time to transition out of our bedtime nursing routine.

I knew that this day would come, but I didn't know what it would feel like.

These last drops of milk were given to my sweet little boy in a loving cuddle, rocking in his chair as he nursed to sleep. Humming songs, tears streaming, and a memory of nursing cemented on my mommy heart.

Did I know that I could have so much love for a tiny person? That these tiny moments I would want to pause and be able to relive over and over, as I know that time will just get faster and faster? Some favorite moments of my life so far are these nursing moments. I knew I would love being a baby's mommy, but I didn't know what this would feel like.

I know the joys will get better and better as Billy continues to grow and accomplish new life lessons, but looking back at these incredible 16 months of my baby growing into this incredible toddler that talks and runs and laughs and plays, I didn't know the sadness that would come with this joy. I didn't know what this would feel like.

Mama Love

Each night Brian and I go through a bedtime routine with Billy, and the final moments include saying a night time prayer while I nurse Billy in our rocking chair. This is absolutely of my favorite times of the day, and such a special time for our little family. Tonight we got to the part where we say what we are thankful for, and after saying that we are thankful for our "mama friends and babies" Billy stopped nursing and said "Mama." I looked at Brian and said, "It's like he is saying he is thankful for me" and Billy stopped nursing again and said "Mama"

This Mama had eyes full of tears and a heart full of love. Definitely a moment that I will cherish, forever.

Remember that time when Brian cut Billy's hair...

Last weekend I got to spend time with my cute little side kick. This little blue eyed boy is the cutest!

Then Saturday night my friend of 8 years Betsy and I had a girls night and went to see a movie after having dinner at the Heathman. Best girls night ever :)

Sunday this guy still was just the cutest!

Brushing his hair :) He likes to use all sorts of things to brush his hair. Like the Little Mermaid :) 

So then Brian decided to give him a haircut... and now he looks so different!

Music buddies!

Blue eyed babe

He loves his "Tuck" books

He is the cutest in his little sleep sack and with his tiny buh buh 

Loves his yogurt!

Again with his "tuck"

Helpin mom ;)

He is still hit or miss on those naps... so he snuck one in during a short car ride. So sneaky little Billy ;)

Checkin out the lobster....

Who needs naps?

This week Brian had Monday off so he got to come watch Billy swim! Billy did great and is floating on his back so well!

This week Billy started standing in his crib solo = meaning no sleeping. I don't think he knows how to get down so he gets really upset :(

Trying to fill some afternoon time without that second nap means that I love to wear him around. We tried hiking out on our property, but it got cut short because we ran into some brambles :-/

Billy had a day with his Grandparents and looks awfully cute in his bath!

1 yr check up! Billy weighs 23b 1 oz and is 30 inches tall! So big! That was 75% for both :)

He also got 5 vaccines. That's painful for Billy... but also hard on this momma :(

He's not the biggest fan of the new baby gates obviously.

He likes to put things in cups now. All things in all cups. So cute.

Walking and pointing! Two of his favorite things.

This Wednesday we went to Ash Wednesday at St John's. Billy's second time!

Walking and peeking at mom :)

First bubble bath! With bubbles! So fun!

Billy is 1 year old!

Happy 1st Birthday Billy!

My baby boy. My first baby. I can't believe that you are One! 

I love you more and more each day, and you have made my heart grow exponentially. I actually did not know I could love so much.

I love your little voice saying "Mama" It is by far the best tiny sound in the world and I hope to keep that sound in my heart for all of my life. 

Right now you are taking up to 10 steps between Dad and Mom... ending in a dive for a hug :) Pulling up to standing, and walking with your little push walker. 

Other than Mama, you are also saying "Duck, Cup, Truck, Dog" and you started to "Mooo" "Hiss" and "Roar" when we look through your books with animals in them.

You love to read, you love to snuggle your little blue blanket before sleeping, you love food (but not bottles of milk these days), you love drinking out of cups, and love putting things in cups :) You love your dog, any duck, and pushing trucks. 

My baby Billy, I am so happy that I get to be your Mama and I am excited to live this life with you to help you grow and learn. 

Prince William's Royal 1st Birthday

Last Sunday we celebrated Billy's 1st birthday!! We had a fun party with our family and celebrated our not so little boy.

We celebrated our "Prince William" with a Royal Birthday

Singing Happy Birthday to my favorite little boy!

Love my little family

"What are theses shenanigans, mom?"

Billy, I love being your mom. Happy 1st Birthday my sweet boy.

The aftermath...